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QUESTION #5 How are we to understand the prevalence of polygamy among God’s people in the Old Testament—especially considering passages like 2 Samuel 12:8, where God seems to have given multiple wives as a blessing? RESPONSE[i] Background — The first instance of polygamy/bigamy in the Bible was that of Lamech in Genesis 4:19: “Lamech married two women.” Several prominent men in the Old Testament were polygamists: Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others. Is It God’s Moral Will? — God’s blueprint for marriage was given in the perfection of pre-Fall creation and is summarized as one man and one woman becoming one flesh for one lifetime (Genesis 1:27; 2:21-24). Polygamy (and adultery, homosexuality, sex before marriage, etc.) clearly violates this divinely revealed blueprint. Furthermore, the picture of the gospel that is on clear display in the marriage relationship (Ephesians 5:22-33) is completely undermined by any other model of other romantic intimacy, including polygamy. Why Did God Allow It? — (1) Unmarried women in ancient times were completely dependent on their family members, such as their fathers, brothers, etc. If for some reason a woman had no family members or her husband had died or divorced her, she would be left with few options for survival. Most women in ancient times were uneducated and unskilled in a trade. Providing for themselves was very difficult, and they were vulnerable to those who would prey upon them (especially during war). For many women in dire situations, becoming a second wife or concubine was a much more suitable option than prostitution, homelessness, or death. At least she would be provided a home and afforded a certain amount of care. This seems to be in part what happened in the case of Abigail, David’s second wife (cf. 1 Samuel 25). (2) Jesus said God allowed divorce because of the hardness of men’s hearts (Matthew 19:8). We can assume the same hardness of heart led to the allowance and regulation of polygamy and concubinage (cf. Exodus 21:10-11). Sin is never ideal, and just because God allows a sin for a time, does not mean God is pleased with it. Many Bible narratives teach that God can take what some people mean for evil and use it for good (e.g., Genesis 50:20), as seems to be the case in reason #1 above. (3) Remember that God “does not deal with us according to our sins [whether that is polygamy or pride], nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him” (Psalm 103:10-11). Otherwise, who could stand—Abraham, David, you, or me?! Did God Reward People with It? — No, in fact the opposite is consistently true in biblical revelation: polygamy brings complex and far-reaching consequences. A study of the lives of men like King David and King Solomon (who had 700 wives and 300 concubines; 1 Kings 11:3) reveals that many of their problems stemmed from polygamous relationships (e.g., 2 Samuel 11:2-4)—family problems (cf. dysfunctional families like Jacob’s), societal tensions (cf. between Hagar’s son Ishmael and Rebekah’s son Isaac; 1 Kings 11:14-25), spiritual adultery/idolatry (Exodus 34:16), and divine consequences (2 Samuel 12:14) inevitably followed marital plurality. God had explicitly prohibited Israel’s kings from practicing polygamy, warning, “[The king] shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away” (Deuteronomy 17:14-20). A tragic case study in the veracity of that warning is seen in Solomon’s life. Although he started his reign being reminded by his dad to “keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses,” including the prohibition of plural wives (1 Kings 2:2-3). Later on, however, Solomon disobeyed that command and took 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:1-3). As a result, the text says twice that they “turned away his heart after other gods” away from the true God (1 Kings 11:1-4). It was not until towards the end of his life that Solomon provides us with an autobiographical evaluation of his polygamous pleasure. He admits in Ecclesiastes 2:8 that he “gathered for [himself]…many concubines, the delight of the sons of man.” Then, three verses later he also admits that the fulfillment for which he was searching in polygamous intimacy was non-existent: “Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun” (2:11). So, he ends his book by exhorting us with the counsel he undoubtedly wished he had followed, “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). But what about 2 Samuel 12:8, which makes it sound as if God blessed David with multiple wives (“I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms”)?
What Does The Bible Explicitly Say about Polygamy for Today? — In most cultures today, polygamy is seen as violation of moral norms. That change, however, is not so much God’s disallowing something He previously allowed, as it is God’s restoring marriage to His original plan. Thus, God’s standard for a pastor or deacon is that he be a “one-woman man” (1 Timothy 3:2, 12; Titus 1:6), and He uses the singular “husband” and “wife” when teaching the local church about marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Corinthians 7:2. Summary — Norman Geisler writes, “There is ample evidence, even within the Old Testament, that polygamy was not God's ideal for man. That monogamy was His ideal for man is obvious from several perspectives. (1) God made only one wife for Adam, thus setting the ideal precedent for the race. (2) Polygamy is first mentioned as part of the wicked Cainite civilization (Gen. 4:23). (3) God clearly forbade the kings of Israel (leaders were the persons who became polygamists) saying, ‘And he shall not multiply wives for himself, lest his heart turn away again’ (Deut. 17:17). (4) The saints who became polygamists paid for their sins. 1 Kings 11:1, 3 says, ‘Now King Solomon loved many foreign women...and his wives turned away his heart.’... (5) Polygamy is usually situated in the context of sin in the OT. Abraham's marriage of Hagar was clearly a carnal act of unbelief (Gen. 16:1f). David was not at a spiritual peak when he added Abigail and Ahinoam as his wives (1 Sam. 25:42-43), nor was Jacob when he married Leah and Rachel (Gen. 29:23, 28). (6) The polygamous relation was less than ideal. It was one of jealousy among the wives. Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah (Gen. 29:31). Elkanah's one wife was considered a ‘rival’ or adversary by the other, who ‘used to provoke her sorely, to irritate her...’ (1 Sam. 1:6). (7) When polygamy is referred to, the conditional, not the imperative, is used. ‘If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights’ (Exod. 21:10). Polygamy is not the moral ideal, but the polygamist must be moral.”[iii] ENDNOTES
[i] www.gotquestions.org/concubine-concubines; www.gotquestions.org/polygamy; www.gotquestions.org/Solomon-wives-concubines [ii] John MacArthur Jr., ed., The MacArthur Study Bible, electronic ed. (Nashville, TN: Word Pub., 1997), p. 443. He further explains, “Ahinoam, the wife of David (2:2; 3:2; 1 Sam. 25:43; 27:3; 30:5), is always referred to as the Jezreelitess, whereas Ahinoam, the wife of Saul, is distinguished clearly from her by being called ‘the daughter of Ahimaaz’ (1 Sam. 14:50).” [iii] Ethics: Alternatives and Issues (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1971), pp. 204-205. |
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